Do you believe me now?! Never give up..

A pain so intense, sick to the stomach
Deep inside my bones, an ache.
A constant.
A pain so intense.

To understand, visualise a bone torn from its socket
One failed surgery, three anchors later.
One anchor remains, ones barely hanging on and the last ones a floater. 
Free floating in my shoulder attached to nothing, imagine this pain.
Every muscle tense, constantly holding my shoulder in place. I wish this pain on no one.
A pain you can not see. 
Two MRI’s saw no issue, the naked eye what could I expect it to see.

Orthopaedic problems can cause chronic pain leading to other issues, which then become an issue in itself. 
Chronic pain is no joke. I’ve been in pain everyday for the last few years. You find ways to manage, but we shouldn’t have to just manage. 

No one should have to put up with pain, for an issue which can be resolved.
The key is to get to the bottom of the problem.

You know your body better than anybody. Trust your instincts and don’t give up. 

After I had surgery on my shoulder in 2014 to fix my labrum tear, three days later I knew the anchors they had put in had come out. I felt the exact moment it happened, when my shoulder started having muscle spasms.
The doctor refused to do anything and said it was impossible that my anchors had come out. Apparently I just needed to recover from surgery and see the physiotherapist.
I had already been going through the wars with the system by this point, this surgery was suppose to signify the end. It was so heart breaking to know the anchors had come out and they wern’t going to do anything about it. It’s as if they didn’t believe me. From that moment to now I worked on getting referred to a better hospital. This issue started in 2013 with the original surgery performed summer 2014. 


A few days ago I had surgery at my new hospital, to have a look inside my shoulder to see exactly what’s going on now.
I feel a sense of peace in knowing that I wasn’t going crazy, I wasn’t imagining it. 

I kept pestering the doctors and I didn’t give up. I refused to get lost in the system, it’s so easy in the uk. People get stressed out and fed up of getting messed around and just end up doing things to manage the pain. The pain almost becomes normal. 

When you’re on the nhs you have to go through all the motions; go to all the appointments, ask all the right questions, chase them, don’t just let them forget about you, don’t just accept things, get advice. It can be a hassle but it’s the only way unless you have private Healthcare. 
All I kept thinking is, if someone doesn’t go back inside and fix my shoulder, I’m going to be in this pain for the rest of my life. I thought I can’t live like this forever, no way! 

Never give up!
I’m so glad I didn’t give up. This pain I’m experiencing is real, the surgeon was slightly confused to how I’d been doing it. I told him I personally already knew the anchors had come out, so I decided whilst I was going through the process of getting refereed elsewhere, I would do whatever rehab was needed to be comfortable to some extent. That’s exactly what I did. In the beginning it was hard but the moment I switched my mindset, the pain was still there but it became easier to handle and things have started falling into place quite quickly ever since.

I have complete faith in my new orthopaedic team, I am so grateful for them. I’m awaiting a CT scan on my shoulder and then I’ll have some more surgery to fix it. 

This shoulder has caused so many issues in my life, you wouldn’t even believe me. Despite all of that and all the hospital drama over the last few years, I’m just so happy it’s finally going to be over soon. I can’t wait to have surgery and begin my rehabilitation process again. In my mind it is already done. New and improved. I’m so ready. 

Comsider this..
Why should you be in pain everyday?

Never just accept what a doctor tells you, don’t be afraid to ask for a second a opinion.

Trust your instincts, you know your body better than anybody.

Breathe Think Write Release


  1. The procedure
  2. The procedure: Video


Photo credit.

    7 thoughts on “Do you believe me now?! Never give up..

    1. Wow, what a story! Such a shame that anything related to soft tissue usually isn’t taken seriously. So many people are in pain, and they never get the right diagnosis. I’m very happy you finally got the diagnosis you needed!

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