Chronic pain & Insomnia.. tonight I had no fight 

3AM swigging morphine from the bottle, to numb the pain to quiet the voices
Voices ringing out these voices are so loud, countless noises
Chronic pain tension rising 
Mind running wild thoughts going crazy
Physical battle mental war raging
One two ten exhale.. not this again 
My worse enemy and my best friend 
Insomnia nights legally high
Medically drug induced hazy nights
It’s been months with no pain relief months of conditioning my mind 
Tonight I was tired tonight I had no fight 
Opiates coursing through my blood at the surface I’m tearing through my skin
I may be weak tonight but I’ll be stronger tomorrow I refuse to give in.. it will never win

-Dionne MT-


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They say with time it gets better..

Every year transported back feeling today the pain I felt yesteryear
You tell yourself this year I won’t be affected this year I’ll be stronger 
But you can’t help but wonder how life would be if they was still here 
When you feel everything so deeply it’s hard to shut out the deepest pain you’ve ever felt
I close my eyes and I’m still taken back to that day, I see it so clear I remember so vividly 
When you loose a loved one there is no true remedy 
They say with time it gets better, no.. with time you accept does that make time a healer?
Gone but never forgotten it’s just during this period it’s much more harder

RIP sis.. the kindest spirit I knew x

-Dionne MT-


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