You can not press pause on life. Mid life crisis, breakups, pregnancies, redundancies the camera is still rolling regardless of the hurdles we may face. Life does not stop.

After breaking up with a partner you usually go through a period where you decide you want to be single for a variety of reasons. There’s nothing wrong with that, this is completely normal. But who are we to judge those that move on quickly. Who defines what quickly is? We’ve somehow all allowed society to dictate what we do next. What we do next is rarely because that’s what we actually want to do, it’s usually what we think we’re suppose to do, what’s expected of us. In these situations there are no rules, only the rules you set yourself. Life doesn’t have to be so complicated. Only you can decide what is right or wrong for you. Only you will know when you’re ready to move on.

That brings me to the topic of being ready. What do you define as being ready? We say I’m not ready to be in a relationship or date but do we even know why. What is it we are actually waiting for. Indeed there are situations when you should be saying I’m not ready. For example I don’t believe someone who has a selfish mindset be it for positive or negative reasons should engage in activities which at times will require them to be selfless.
There are other things where it’s not so clear cut. The I’m working on me scenario is a scenario which can be very blurry. Think about it, should we not constantly be working on ourselves? We are forever evolving and learning about ourselves, knowledge of self is a lifelong journey. There is no time limit on when we will completely know ourselves, it’s an ongoing discovery. Is this not life, an ongoing journey of falling, getting up, learning new things, growing, changing, adapting the list goes on. Will we not be waiting forever until we decide to open our hearts to another if our reason is..I’m working on myself. That should never stop even when in a relationship.

I personally think the relationships that work these days are those that understand what I’m trying to say. They understand that every individual on this planet is on a journey of self discovery that never really comes to an end. Perfection will never be attained. Knowing this they embark on a separate joint journey allowing each other to continue to develop as individuals.

I’m not saying you should take all your mess and dump it on some poor unknowing soul, no far from. Deal with the immediate obvious stuff that would no doubt put a strain on a relationship. But there are something’s that will take a life time to conquer and understand. We have to be able to draw a line and say ok what am I actually waiting for. What do I need to happen to say I’m ready because working on myself is very broad and in that scenario we could be here waiting forever.

I believe there is someone out there for everyone, don’t close yourself off to the possibilities because you don’t think there’s anyone who’d understand you or for whatever reason. There is someone out there for everyone.

Life is happening whether we like it or not. There is no pause button when it comes to living. Why should we let life just happen to us where we are simply reacting to what’s being thrown at us.

A point comes when you have to start living life fully. We have to make our own paths.

-Dionne MT-

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